8 stupid weight-loss schemes

Self's Diet and Nutrition editor Erin Hobday collaborated with the NY Daily News on eight ridiculous weight-loss products (including the Fuze lip gloss, which I think tastes like dog poo) that will help you lose one thing: your hard-earned cash. Honestly, there are so many ridiculous things on the market *(the Slim Dome much?) that I'm surprised they had the willpower to stop at just eight. Let's take a look at some other doozies, shall we? The Diet Fork, which is based on the principle that if you can't pick it up, you can't put it in your mouth. If you really buy into this, you could just use a spork from the cafeteria at work, or a free pair of chopsticks from the take-out joint up the street. Foot pads, which you put on your feet before bedtime. Supposedly somehow they suck the fat out of your ass through your soles. Um, what? The Hallelujah Diet, which cures more than just your size 14 jeans, but also fixes a million other ailments as well. As a nutrition plan, it's not too bad, but the catch is that you can't buy just any fruits and vegetables: you need to buy THEIR special, holy, blessed fruits and vegetables. They feel the stuff in the grocery store is dead on arrival, which sucks, because it means I've been spending a lot of money at Whole Foods for nothing (well, that could be argued anyway). The Pregnant Lady Pee Diet. I am not even making that up. Okay, I've mentioned this before, but I still can't believe that people are doing this of their own free will. The Magnetic Diet, which states that foods either attract health or disease toward the body. I'm guessing that Cheetohs or Taco Bell aren't on the health list? Actual Magnets on your ears to lose weight? The only way you'd believe this is if your ears don't have anything between them. The Power Plate, which is a vibrating platform (remember those vibrating belts from the '50s?) that is supposed to help you exercise by holding poses, except really, the research on it is sketchy at best. The HandyTrim is my favorite. Do you remember making those out of strings and can lids when you were a kid? Just me? Okay, well, I was a fat kid, despite playing with a string! Go figure! by Weetabix, Elastic Waist Healthy Living